Hello !
I wish I had a better start to the new year, and I wish I had nuggets of wisdom, but I don’t, and here’s me being real and unoptimistic. Often said as a means of self-love, I have seen and read that it is a good practice to honor all our feelings, including the ones that are making you feel sad, feel angry, or any other feelings that have a negative connotation attached to them. Right now, I am experiencing the same level of anxiety and fear that the rest of the people are feeling with the news of Tech Layoffs and how it isn’t looking any better for the year to come.
Reading Corner
As a means of distraction from this Layoff anxiety, I am reading the Bridgerton Series, Regency-era romance series. Although the hit-Netflix series has been inspired by the books, it has been said that they deviate in large measures from each other. I jumped straight into the fifth book in the series, with no expectations. Eloise is easily my favorite character, and it wasn’t hard for me to relate to her. Eloise with her passionate opinions about women and their rights, and how she falls in love, with someone she is yet to meet has been a respite during these extremely difficult days.
Writing Corner
Ronald Roy is an ongoing series that features here on TOAT. To read the previous episodes, click here.
Episode 5
It had been a couple of sessions since I began visiting my therapist alone. Would it have been better if I had taken Ronald with me, I don’t know. It would help if he acknowledged that there was a problem, that we as a couple probably needed to see somebody professional. It would help if he weren’t actively avoiding the fact that I was unhappy. It would help if he wasn’t so keen on living the lie he was manufacturing.
“This is who I am”, he had said, after he returned from London. I had just asked him why his trip was something he kept from me.
“I thought you were mature and understanding. Since when did you start becoming needy?”, he asked me. His eyes widened, and honestly, I was frightened. Was it the same person who had managed to charm a crowd of people he had just met? I thought as I recalled our first meeting. He left the house, slamming the front door dramatically, the same way he had done multiple times earlier when I had spoken about how some of my expectations had not been met.
He had a way of making me feel like I had asked for too much. That any question to him was a question of his autonomy as a person. My therapist pointed out that feeling emotionally secure was one of the core items that made a relationship work. I constantly felt drained having to walk on eggshells around him.
I made my way to the kitchen and opened my laptop.
I was far from feeling emotionally secure.
Learning Corner
Some interesting things that I found on the internet
Lounge Corner
Here’s a nudge for you to go and rewatch Bridgerton Series once again!
Thank you all for reading!
See you in the next edition,
Pratiksha
Thanks for reading Thoughts On a Thursday! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.